One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn in motherhood is that perfection isn’t the goal–and that trying to be a “perfect mom” only wears me down. With a teen juggling competitive cheerleading and homeschooling responsibilities pulling at every moment of the day, I’ve had to be realistic.
Some days, dinner is cereal for everyone, the laundry piles up, and the house isn’t magazine–ready–and that’s okay. What matters most is showing up with love and intentionality, not flawless execution. When I let go of impossible standards, I find more peace, and even my relationships with my daughter and family feel more genuine.
I’m learning that being “good enough” means being present, listening, cheering on those small wins, and forgiving myself on the hard days. Motherhood is imperfect, messy, joyful, and beautiful–and embracing that truth fully has been a gift worth giving myself.
If you’ve struggled with perfectionism as a mom, remember– you are enough, just as you are. How do you practice grace with yourself? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Sometimes motherhood feels like a beautiful mess–a constant balancing act of love, chaos, challenges, and little victories. I want to share a little about where I am right now in my journey and how I’ve learned to find joy even in the busiest seasons.
As a mom of a teen cheerleader who competes nearly every weekend, and with homeschooling responsibilities, life is anything but quiet. Some days, the calendar feels overwhelming, and the to do list seems never-ending. But over time, I’ve realized that joy isn’t about perfection or “having it all together.” It’s about embracing the messy, unscripted moments and finding gratitude in the little things.
One way I stay grounded is by carving out small pockets of self-care–sometimes just five minutes to breathe, pray, or savor a warm cup of tea. I’ve also discovered that involving my daughter in simple family traditions, like sharing what we’re thankful for or cooking a quick meal together, connects us in a meaningful way despite the hustle.
Encouraging my teen in her dreams, celebrating her progress, and reminding her (and myself) that rest is part of winning has been a balancing act I’m still learning. What’s helped me most is leaning into communitiy–connecting with other moms who get it, sharing our stories, and knowing I’m not alone.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you’re just “surviving” motherhood right now, I want you to know you’re doing an amazing job. Joy isn’t a destination; it’s a choice we make every day in how we show up for ourselves and our families.
Thank you for being part of this community. I hope to share more encouragement, real talk, and helpful tips here as we navigate motherhood together.
What small moments bring joy in your busy days? I’d love to hear in the comments below.
With love,
Maria
Enjoying the northern lights by the lake very peaceful
Family traditions are much more than just rituals; they are the heartbeats of our family story, weaving together moments of love, laughter, and connection that echo through generations. In a busy world, creating meaningful family, traditions grounds us, gives a sense of belonging, and builds treasured memories that last a lifetime.
Why Family Traditions Matter
Traditions strengthen family bonds and create a feeling of stability and identity. They teach children about their heritage and values while giving every family member a chance to contribute to something bigger than themselves. Especially during challenging seasons of life, traditions offer comforting consistency and joy.
How to Start Traditions That Last
1.Reflect on Your Family’s Values:
Think about what matters most to your family. Is it faith, creativity, kindness, fun, adventure, or something else? Your traditions should reflect these core values to feel authentic and inspire engagement.
2. Involve Everyone-Even Teens:
Get input from all family members, including teens and young children. Teens often crave independence but still want connection, so invite their ideas on what feels meaningful or fun. Young children may enjoy hands-on activities or helping plan. This shared ownership builds excitement and long-term commitment.
3.Begin Small and Simple:
Start with easy, repeatable rituals, like a weekly family movie night, monthly outdoor adventure, or a special meal like Sunday pancakes. Simple traditions can grow naturally over time into larger customs.
4.Blend Fun and Purpose:
Aim for traditions that bring joy but also align with your family’s values. Volunteering together during holidays, planting a garden as a family project, or hosting a storytelling night where everyone shares a favorite memory creates both fun and meaning.
5.Use Food and Rituals:
Food is a timeless tradition builder. Whether it’s a signature recipe, a holiday bake-off, or sharing a favorite snack during storytime, these moments of sharing nourish both body and soul.
6. Create Space for Emotional Sharing:
Encourgrage conversations about gratitude, dreams, and challenges as part of your traditions. This emotional connection is the glue that makes traditions unforgettable and meaningful.
Tips for Teens and Kids
For Teens: Involve them in co-creating the traditions. Let them pick themes or activities, host events, or take charge of music and decorations. This respect for their growing independence makes traditions more engaging.
For Young Kids: Use crafts, songs, and storytelling to make traditions memorable and fun. Let them help with simple tasks to feel included.
The Gift of Traditions
Family traditions are living legacies, evolving as your family grows but always carrying the threads of love and connection. When crafted with intention and inclusivity, they become the memories your children and grandchildren will cherish forever.
Motherhood is a journey full of joys, challenges, and profound moments of growth-not only for our daughters but for us as moms as well. One of our most important roles as mothers is to nurture our daughters’ dreams and independence, empowering them to become confident, capable women. This blog post explores meaningful ways to encourage your daughter’s dreams while gently guiding her toward independence in today’s world.
Embrace Her Unique Dreams Without Judgement
Every daughter’s dreams are a reflection of her unique spirit and passions. Celebrate her ideas, no matter how big or small. Whether she dreams of becoming an artist, scientist, entrepreneur, or something entirely unexpected, your enthusiastic support lays a strong foundation for her confidence. Listen actively to her aspirations, ask thoughtful questions, and share your own stories about following your dreams to create a bond of mutual encouragement.
Foster Independence Through Trust and Responsibility
Independence grows in the soil of trust and responsibility. Give your daughter opportunities to make age-appropriate choices, from managing daily tasks to setting goal. This builds her decision-making skills and self-reliance. Encourage her to face challenges with resilience by praising her efforts, not just outcomes. When she knows you believe in her ability to solve problems, she develops the courage she needs to pursue her dreams boldly.
Support Her Education And Curiosity
Encourage a love of learning by supporting your daughter’s education and curiosity. Engage in activities that spark creativity and critical thinking. Provide books, resources, and experiences that broaden her horizons and inspire determination. Celebrate her achievements academically and beyond-recognize the value of growth in every area of life as part of her journey toward independence.
Model Confidence and Self-Worth
Your daughter learns by watching you. Model confidence, self-worth, and healthy boundaries in your own life. Show her that it’s okay to take risks, make mistakes, and grow from them. When she sees you prioritize your own dreams and well-being, she internalizes that her own aspirations deserve respect and attention.
Create a Safe Space for Open Communication
An open, safe space for dialogue strengthens your relationship and her ability to navigate independence. Encourage honest conversations about fears, challenges, and dreams without judgment. Being her confidante and sounding board means she can approach life’s hurdles knowing she has unwavering support.
Her Her Build a Supportive Community
Friendships and mentors play vital roles in sustaining dreams and independence. Encourage your daughter to seek out positive role models, supportive friends, and groups where she feels inspired and valued. A strong community uplifts her spirit, provides guidance, and broadens her understanding of what’s possible.
Conclusion: Empowerment is a Gift Yo Give Through Love
Encouraging your daughter’s dreams and independence is a beautiful act of love that shapes her future. By embracing her passions, trusting her decisions, supporting her curiosity, modeling self-confidence, communicating openly, and fostering a community, you gift her the tools to soar. As you invest in her journey, you also-grow-discovering the profound joy of watching her transform into a strong, independent woman ready to shine.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re speaking a different language than the teenager in your life, you are definitely not alone. The adolescent years, are a whirlwind of brain development, identity formation, and a heightened focus on peer connections. This often means that the lines of communication with adults can feel strained, or even non-existent.
But there’s the good news: while it might take a different approach, meaningful communication with your teen is absolutely possible and incredibly vital. It builds trust, fosters understanding, and keeps those crucial lines of support open.
The Teen Communication Playbook: What Works ( and What Doesn’t)
Let’s ditch the frustration and embrace some strategies that genuinely help bridge the gap.
1.Listen More Than You Talk(Really!):
This is perhaps the most crucial tip. Teens often feel unheard or misunderstood. When they do speak, resist the urge to immediately jump in with advice, lectures, or solutions.
Try This: Practice active listening. Nod,make eye contact,and use phrases like, “It sounds like you’re feeling [emotion]” or “So, if I’m understanding you correctly, [paraphrase what they said]?” This shows you’re engaged and trying to understand their perspective.
Avoid This: Interrogating them with a barrage of questions or cutting them off your opinion.
2. Choose Your Moments Wisely:
Teens aren’t always ready for a deep conversation on demand. The best opportunities often arise organically.
Try This: Look for “side-by-side” moments. In the car, while cooking together, on a walk, or even just before bedtime when defenses are lower. These less direct settings can feel less confrontational.
Avoid This: Cornering them the moment they walk in the door or when they’re engrossed in something important to them (like gaming or homework).
3. Be Present and Put Down Your Phone ( and Expect the Same):
it’s hard to connect when you’re distracted. Model the behavior you want to see.
Try This: When your teen starts talking, even if it’s about something seemingly trivial, make eye contact and give them your full attention. Ask them to do the same when you need to talk.
Avoid This: Trying to have a serious conversation while scrolling through social media or doing chores.
4.Validate Their Feelings, Even if You Don’t Understand Their Logic:
Their emotional brains are in high gear. Dismissing their feelings invalidates their experience.
Try This: “I c”an see why you’d be upset about that,” or “That sounds really frustrating.” You don’t have to agree with their actions, but acknowledging their emotions is powerful.
Avoid This: “That’s ridiculous,” “You’re overreacting,” or “When I was your age…”
5.Keep it Brief and Specific:
Teen attention spans can be short, especially for lectures. Get to the point.
Try This: Instead of a 20- minute monologue about chores, try, “Hey, about the dishes, could you please get them done before dinner tonight?”
Avoid This: Ranting about all their past missteps or launching into a general “you never…” or “you always…” speech.
6.Offer Choice and Collaboration( When Possible):
Teens crave autonomy. Giving them a say, even in small things, can increase cooperation.
Try This: “What do you think is a fair consequence for missing curfew?” or “What’s the best way for us to tackle this?”
Avoid This:Dictating every rule without any room for discussion or input.
7.Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff; Pick Your Battles:
Not every eye-roll or grunt requires a full disciplinary action. Sometimes,ignoring minor provocations can preserve energy for bigger issues.
Try This: Focus on core values and safety. Let some of the fashion choices or room tidiness (within reason) slide if it means preserving your relationship.
Avoid This: Engaging in power struggles over every single minor infection.
8.Apologize When You Mess Up:
You’re human. You’ll lose your cool. Admitting your mistakes shows humility and models healthy conflict resolution.
Try This: “I’m sorry I yelled earlier. I was frustrated, but that wasn’t fair to you to you.”
Avoid This: Pretending you’re always right or refusing to acknowledge your own errors.
9.Show Genuine Interest in Their World:
Even if you don’t understand TikTok dances or their favorite video game, asking about it can open doors.
Try This: “Tell me about that game you’re playing,” or “What’s a new song you’ve been listening to?”
Avoid This: Dismissing their interests as “silly” or “a waste of time.”
Communication with teenagers is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and challenging ones. But by approaching these conversations with patience, respect, and a willingness to truly listen, you can foster a stronger, more open relationship that will benefit you both for years to come. What’s one small step you can take today to connect with your teen?
Raising teenagers presents a unique set of challenges, and as a mom, prioritizing self-care is essential for navigating this demanding phrase. It’s easy to get caught up in their world of independence, peer pressure, and evolving identities, but remember the pre-flight safety demonstration: you need your own oxygen mask first.
Here are some key aspects of self-care tailored for moms of teens, drawing from various helpful blogs:
Understanding the Landscape:
-Teenage Development: Recognize that the emotional rollercoaster, mood swings, and desire for independence are normal parts of adolescence. Understanding these developmental shifts can help you respond with more patience and empathy.
-Communication Shifts: Teens may become more withdrawn, and open dialogue can feel challenging. Patience and creating a non-judgmental space are crucial for them to feel comfortable sharing.
-Increased Stress: Parenting teens can be a significant source of stress due to academic pressures, social media influencers, and the need to establish new boundaries.
Prioritizing Your Well-being:
Time for Yourself: Carve out-even small pockets of time each day for activities that replenish you. This could be reading, walking, a quiet cup of coffee, or pursuing a hobby. It’s not selfish; it’s essential for your overall welll-being
Set Boundaries: Just as you help your teens establish healthy boundaries, set your own. Learn to say no to commitments that drain you and protect your time and energy.
-Nourish Your Body: Pay attention to your physical health through balanced eating, regular exercise, and sufficient sleep. These form the foundation for managing stress and maintaining energy.
Connect with Others: Invest in you support network. Whether it’s friends, other parents, or a support group, having people to share experiences and gain perspective from can make a significant difference.
-Mindfulness Practices: Techniques like meditation and deep breathing exercises can help you stay present, manage stress, and respond more calmly to challenging situations.
Let Go of Guilt: Remind yourself that prioritizing your well-being is not selfish. A well-cared- for parent is better equipped to support their children.
Navigating the Teen Years with Self-Care:
-Listen Without Judgement: When your teen does open up, resist the urge to immediately offer solutions. Instead, focus on listening and validating their feelings.
-Model Vulnerability: Your teens don’t need a perfect parent; they need a real one. Sharing your own experiences(appropriately) can help them feel less alone in their struggles
-Redefine Success: Shift your focus from perfection to progress, both for yourself and your teen. Celebrate small wins and acknowledge the effort involved in navigating this stage.
Seek Professional Help When Needed: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor if you’re feeling overwhelmed or struggling to cope.
Remember, self-care is an ongoing process, not a one-time fix. By intentionally prioritizing your well-being, you’ll not only be better equipped to navigate the challenges of raising teenagers but also model healthy habits for your children. You deserve to thrive, and taking care of yourself is a crucial step in that direction.
Ah, the teenage years! A time of growth, change, and sometimes a bit of angst. Here are 10 things your teenage daughter could really benefit from hearing from you:
1.”I love you unconditionally.” This might seem obvious, but hearing it explicitly, especially when she feels she’s messed up or you’re disagreeing, can be incredibly grounding.
2.”It’s okay to make mistakes. That’s how we learn.” Taking the pressure off perfection allows her to try new things and not be paralyzed by the fear of failure. Share some of your own mistakes and what you learned from them.
3.”Your feelings are valid.” Even if you don’t understand why she’s upset or frustrated, acknowledging her emotions helps her feel heard and understood. You can say something like, “I hear that you’re really upset about this.”
4. ” You are strong and capable.” Teenagers often face new challenges and can doubt their abilities. Reminding her of her inner strength and past successes can boost her confidence.
5.”I’m here for you, no matter what.” Knowing she has a safe space to turn to, without judgment, is crucial. Let her know you’re constant in her life.
6. It’s important to be true to yourself.” The pressure to fit in can immense during adolescence. Encourage her to value her individuality and make choices that align with her own values.
7. “Your voice matters.” Encourage her to express her opinions and stand up for what she believes in, respectfully. This empowers her and helps her develop her own identity.
8.”You are beautiful inside and out.” In a world saturated with often unrealistic beauty standards, remind her that her worth comes from within and that true beauty encompasses kindness, intelligence, and character.
9.”I’m proud of the person you are becoming.” Acknowledging her growth and positive qualities can be a huge motivator and source of encouragement. Focus on her efforts and character, not just achievements.
10. “Let’s talk.” Regularly creating opportunities for open and honest conversation, even about the small things, builds connection and trust. Show genuine interest in her life and listen more than you talk.
These simple phrases, spoken with sincerity, can make a world of difference in your teenage daughter’s life. They build foundation of love, trust, and support that will help her navigate the challenges and joys of adolescence.
When our children are little, it’s easy to see how much they need us. They cling to our legs, reach for our hands, cry for us in the middle of the night. But when they become teenagers, the need becomes harder to read. They pull away, seek independence, shut their bedroom doors, and suddenly we wonder-do they still need me like they used to?
The answer is yes. More then ever.
They may not say it. They may roll their eyes, challenge our boundaries, or act like they’ve outgrown us. But teenagers still need their moms. They just need us quieter, deeper ways.
The Power of Simply Being Home
In the teen years, life becomes complicated. Their bodies are changing. Their social worlds are shifting. Their emotions are unpredictable. And while they’re pushing for independence, they’re also craving security-the kind that doesn’t shout, but stays steady in the background.
When a mom is home-not just physically, but emotionally present-it creates an anchor in a world that often feels like it’s moving too fast for them to keep up.
It might be:
Being there when they walk in from school, even if they barely say a word.
Making their favorite meal after a long day, without expecting conversation.
Sitting on the couch nearby while they scroll on their phone- just so they know you’re close.
Emotional Availability Matters
Teens go through big things-friendship drama, identity questions, academic stress, heartbreak, anxiety, temptation. And they don’t always come to you right away. But when they do, they need to know you’re there. That they don’t have to schedule your attention. That your emotional availability isn’t running on empty.
Sometime it’s at 10 p.m. when they finally want to talk. Or in the car. Or during a commercial. Those moments come unexpectedly-and when we’re home, we’re more likely to catch them.
It’s Not About Hovering-It’s About Presence
Staying at home during the teen years doesn’t mean micromanaging or being a helicopter parent. It means being a safe, steady presence in the midst of their emotional storm. Teens don’t need us to fix everything. They need to know we see them, hear them, and love them-without judgment or agenda.
If You’re a Stay-at-Home Mom to a Teen: You Matter
In a culture that often measures value by income or productivity, choosing to stay home during the teen years might feels invisible. But it’s not. What you’re doing matters deeply-even if it’s in quiet, behind-the-scenes ways.
You’re the one who keeps the fridge stocked with their favorite snacks. You’re the one who notices when they seem “off”. You’re the one they’ll come to when the world feels too big.
And one day, when they look back, they might not remember every detail-but they’ll remember how it felt to have you there.
A Final Thought
Teenagers don’t stop needing their moms- they just need us differently. More quietly. More steadily. More patiently. And being home during this chapter of their lives is a powerful gift you can give them.
Even when it’s hard. Even when it goes unnoticed.
They may not always say it now, but one day, they’ll understand. And they’ll be grateful.
No one really prepares you for this part of motherhood.
You go from kissing scraped knees and tucking them in at night… to standing outside a closed bedroom door, wondering how to reach the child who once clung to your leg just to be near you. One day they need you for everything, and the next, they’re pushing you away-figuring out who they are, testing limits, challenging everything (including you).
And you love them fiercely. But let’s be honest: being a mom of a teenager is hard.
The Push and Pull
Teenagers are caught in between two worlds- no longer children, not quite adults. They crave independence but still need your support. They want space but don’t always know how to handle it. One moment they’re vulnerable, the next they’re distant. It’s a constant push and pull, and navigating it can feel like walking a tightrope between holding on and letting go.
As a mom, it’s hard not to take it personally. The eye rolls. The silence. The sudden mood shifts. You start to question yourself: Am I doing enough? Too much? Not the right things? It’s exhausting and sometimes, heartbreaking.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or even a little defeated-you’re not alone. So many moms are quietly carrying the emotional weight of parenting teens, wondering if they’re the only ones struggling. The truth is, this stage of motherhood is rarely talked about in depth, and yet it’s one of the most emotionally complex.
There’s no manual for parenting a teenager-just your instincts, your values, and your willingness to keep showing up even when they say they don’t need you.
Small Things Matter
Even if they don’t say it, your presence still matters. The late-night check-ins. The packed lunches. The listening ear-even when all you get is a shrug. You are their safety net. Their quiet anchor. And while they may not always express it, they notice your love. They feel it.
You’re helping them become who they’re meant to be. And that no small thing.
Give Yourself Grace
You won’t get everything right. You’ll say the wrong thing, lose your temper, worry too much. But motherhood- especially during the teen years- is not about perfection. It’s about staying connected, even when it’s hard. It’s about setting boundaries, holding space, and continuing to love through all the chaos.
And don’t forget to take care of you, too. You are still a person with needs, dreams, and emotions. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and your well-being matters just as much as theirs.
A Gentle Reminder
This phase won’t last forever. One day, they’ll come back around-more grounded, more open, more grateful than you ever imagined. But for now, keep going. Keep loving. Keep trying. You’re doing better then you think.
Because being a mom to a teenager is hard-but it’s also shaping both of you into stronger, deeper, wiser versions of yourselves.
Lately I have been feeling like this season is long and hard and whatever I do does not work. I was at Church recently and talking to another mom and she offered me some encouragement to just go home and pray for my teen. She said when your teen is sleeping pray over them for God to protect and guide them. As I was talking to her I said this is hard I feel: Fear, Frustration, guilt, and loneliness. Her advice was read Psalm 91 everyday and just Pray and ask God to help me during this season of Parenting.
Just as in the other seasons of our lives, the season or parenting our teens brings unique challenges and and blessings. It helps to articulate the challenges but choose to focus on the blessings.
During the Teen years, there are many changes happening to them as they transition from childhood to being a teen and the changes their bodies go through.
Emotionally, You have to brace yourself for when your teen wakes up in the morning. Will she be happy or in a funk because she doesn’t have the right clothes to wear or she can’t have what she wants. Mood swings are the norm.
Physically. Your daughter develops too fast quickly and is embarrassed or your son’s voice has not changed while his friend’s voices have already changed.
Socially. It an awkward time for your teen. She wants to fit in with the other girls and be like them and wants to do the same sports they do.
Mentally. Your teen is not a child anymore she wants to aim to get good grades and fit in like all the other girls.
Spiritually. Your teen is questioning. “Why do I believe what I have been taught? Do I really want to go to Church and believe?
Also through this season of Parenting Teens Parents go through a lot of Changes too. Its not easy when your kids were little you were tired Physically now its different in the teenage years your are emotionally exhausted. With little kids discipline was easier they just threw a temper tantrum. Teens today they argue and their arguments seem so much smarter than us. They are always right about everything. They use to like to hug us and spend time with us, Now teens say “You just don’t understand, or you don’t trust me or everyone’s parents let them have iPads, cell phones or go out to the mall or movies with their friends alone or they get to do expensive sports and we are poor and we as parents are not good enough. Then I worry about because my child gets lonely or doesn’t have any friends.
In raising teens there is indeed challenges but also blessings unique to the season or parenting your teen. We begin to see some pay off of the early years of training. Siblings who dislike each other are now moving towards a friendship. My daughter who has been self-centered may start to understand that she needs to help around the house. We start seeing them take responsibilty and we begin to have grown up conversations. We start to enjoy being around our teens because we see they are making progress.
There are five steps that will help us in this season of Parenting to become closer to our teens.
Step 1. Give your teen hope.
As a teenager myself I was very shy in school and I disliked going to school but my mom was always there to encourage me not to give up. My mom would always say I Understand how you feel. Right now my daughter wants and has dreams that I can’t afford and would love to give her the world I understand how she feels and I offer her support and am here everyday to help her and love her and encourage her that there are other hobbies she can pursue. Right now in this season they lack perspective.
Right now your teen is feeling not so good about his or her life. She is in a rot now. Offer her support and just write a note of encouragement to her telling her things will get better for her. Just say over and over again that you love them.
Step 2. Care for their friends.
Right now the most important thing is finding a way to encourage my daughter to go out and enjoy life and find and explore other things like gardening, cooking etc and to try out other things in life. Make your home the hang out where you can control what goes on in your home. Make your home comfortable for your teen where she or he can feel comfortable to bring friends over.
Step 3. Have a clear discipline philosophy.
During this season of parenting you are the parent, not their best friend. As a teen growing up I am thankful that I had both my parents teaching me to take responsibility such as doing chores at home and helping out at home and following the rules. I needed structure growing up because it gave me security cause I was not in charge. Right now your teen needs structure and a schedule to follow everyday help them and be there for them.
Step 4. Expose them to others of faith.
Encourage your teen to get up on Sunday mornings to come to Church don’t give up even if they do not go keep asking them and most important be an example let them see you read the word of God or let them see you praying with your Husband. Let them see you go faithfully to Church every Sunday.
Step 5. Rely on God.
The first Priority your teen should see is you as parents growing in your faith. Make time everyday to be on your knees praying for your teens and be in the word receiving comfort and guidance. Let them see you going to Church and reading the word together and praying about problems instead of fighting or arguing let them see you going to prayer and forgiving each other. Be an example of Jesus love everyday.
